We celebrated the Epiphany on a Sunday, as most major feasts have been moved to Sundays to permit those with week-day work commitments to duly celebrate them. It all seemed rather strange to celebrate the Epiphany on 2nd January.

During the last days of the snow the lavender beds were full of differently sized holes, opened by the freezing snow. The soil had been ‘turned’ by the seeping snow , freezing, expanding and finally thawing. Small stones had been pushed upwards and fissures were made. This activity seems parallel to the seasonal work of garden worms, although they work more gently. It is both breath-taking and wonderful. Even some bright red rhubarb tips are emerging from the cold earth.

9th January

In the Western Church we celebrate the Feast of the Baptism of the Lord today. We remember our own baptism, symbolised by the escape from slavery in Egypt during the darkness of night, and then the crossing of the Red Sea by the People of Israel. The coming of day revealed that all the pursuers had been drowned ...that is, all our ‘sin’ had been washed away. So this journey of faith is very much a spiritual journey from darkness into light - although the light of divine encounter can also dazzle us. The liturgy for this celebration is full of wonderful symbols of water and light, and the over-shadowing and protective wings of God. The reading from the Prophet Isaiah, addressed to the whole of Israel, emphasised God’s choice of his people from the time they were formed in the womb.

However, this is all very well for those who assent, through faith, to the teaching of the three religions of the Book: The Jews adhering to the teaching of their wonderful Scriptures; the Christians rooting themselves in the Jewish Scriptures but adding to that what they believe to be their fulfilment; and the Muslims who follow the teaching of the Prophet Mohammed. However, the disputes, war and savagery of the conflict between these three groups of ‘Believers’ in a single God is not edifying, and contrary to what we actually believe.

Someone remarked that she had read that "God is about creation and not salvation". However, God - Creative Energy - is about LIFE in all its aspects. Through the observation of patterns in nature, in some glimpses of the universe from space, of some botanical and medical diagrams, I have noticed a wonderful economy in shapes and patterns. An artist once said to me that in nature there are only straight lines and curves. I now believe that there are only variations on the circle - including tubes. Having found ‘pictures’ in a leopard stone recently, pictures which seemed to be a random depiction of the creation of animals, plus amoeba and possibly the sky, planets and dry land, the above remark made me think. I have long thought that energy is what forms us, which goes out from us, and which is nourished not only by food but by the perception and energy of the world around us, and part of this is change and decay. The energy departs from us, and is ‘used’ elsewhere. The Buddhist belief in reincarnation is certainly understandable but too moral for me. I think I would have a more ‘random harvest’ .....

Meister Eckhart wrote: Every creature is a word of God and a book about God.

Sebastian Franck said: The whole world and all creatures will be to you nothing else than an open book, and a living bible, in which you may study, without previous instruction, the science of God and from which you may learn his will.

John Muir, said it best of all (for me): When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the Universe ... No particle is ever wasted or worn out, but eternally flowing from use to use.

A friend brought a bunch of blue anemones on Friday. The individual flowers have either all black stamens or an inner circle tinged with ochre and the outer circle a dark blue-black. I have chosen to depict the one with most variety as the centre of the next mandala.

15th January

Our last morning on official kitchen duty merged into trying to clean the recreation room after plastering and redecoration, moving furniture from the Hall to the conference room via the passage by the refectory, through the kitchen and scullery, into the deep freeze area , through the cloister and finally to its destination .... needless to say, Mark the decorator and one of the plasterers did the actual portage.

The mild weather is encouraging the small birds to sing as the day brightens, and the sea-gulls do not need so much extra food. A butterfly came out of hibernation but could not be persuaded to remain indoors. I doubt if there is any food for them in the garden, although they are not too particular in what they imbibe... The fish in both ponds show periodic signs of life, and the strawberry leaves have patches of autumnal colouring.

16th January

While our Capuchin Friars were away for their retreat at Pantasaph, we had a wonderful supply priest. He is bright and twinkling of eye, thoughtful and reflective as well as being entertaining. He had been a Worker Priest but when that was no longer permitted, he chose to become a parish priest.

Our readings at Mass (the liturgy of the Word) came from the Letter to the Hebrews and from the Gospel of Saint Mark. The Letter to the Hebrews is a wonderful work, showing converts from Judaism how their Scriptures fore-shadowed the coming of Christ. It was written with profound belief, and with a christological interpretation. However, the texts can also be listened to with interest even when we lack a certain understanding.

The letter begins:

"At various times in the past and in various different ways, God spoke to our ancestors through the prophets.... in our own time he has spoken to us through his Son..." This is followed by a joyful description of the Son as ‘the radiant light of God’s glory’ and other terms beyond our earthly comprehension.

Mark concentrates on the calling of the first disciples, after the baptism of Christ and his sojourn in the desert, where he tried to understand the nature of his mission. It was NOT to be a mission manifesting his power and glory but a calling to service among people who were under Roman occupation and unsure of their identity. However, the first disciples were fishermen from Galilee, and were called away to be ‘fishers of men’. I have always found this an unattractive image as fish are caught to die in order to nourish others. Father Jim suggested that this was linked to the Eucharist, when we ‘eat’ the Bread which is Christ’s Body.... and we ourselves become part of the Mystical Body of Christ, which nourishes others.

On another day Father Jim spoke about leprosy and Saint Francis as a rich young man. Saint Francis feared and loathed lepers: their appearance, their stench, and what they stood for - a visible illustration of the spiritual damage our personal sin produces in us. We no longer remember that illness was always associated with some moral ailment in antiquity, and that the sick were considered sinners, suffering from the consequences of their ill-deeds - or that of their fathers. They were kept apart in case they contaminated others.

23d January

The last days have been swathed in mist and early frost, with the sea-gulls questing for more food, and the garden birds scrabbling at the edge of the flower-beds for the seeds strewn there. Many buds are swelling, with jasmine daring to flower, and the first snowdrops out of their silver sheaths. Rotting leaves lie beneath the bushes, with the wonderful patterns of veins also seen in frozen water.

30th January

This week has been another jumble, with the moving of some furniture for charitable projects - including the Heart Charity - and reassessing the position of plants and significant statues. Some of the better unwanted furniture will go to the Mirfeld Appeal for auctioning, to help raise money for themselves and a project in Africa.

The garden is covered in frost. Although we have a partial failure in electricity in the House, and all the doors of the reception area are missing, the general atmosphere remains serene ..... covered in dust. Perhaps dust is soothing? The wonderful oak doors from the main Hall were taken to be stripped of their thick dark brown paint and returned after three days looking and feeling damp, frayed and furry. The wood that we first thought we could not afford to get stripped is being stripped by Charlie. Like Mark, he is an indefatigable worker and cheerful with it. An overflow-pipe was showering some of the area to the outside of the Chapel. Our friend dealt with it, and we learned that we have six connected water tanks in the roof, and a ‘header’ for the hot water.