How cold it is, with water frozen solid in the water bowls for the birds and ice covering the ponds. Yet the first snowdrops are out, and some primula and winter pansies. They droop and freeze, covered with frost, yet revive the moment the warmth of the sun touches them. We can be like that when, after spiritual darkness, we are touched by love.

By his command he sends the snow ... In the same way, his treasuries open

and the clouds fly out like birds. His great power solidifies the clouds,

then pulverises them into hail .... He sprinkles snow like birds alighting ...

The eye marvels at the beauty of its whiteness, and the mind is amazed at its falling ...

Ecclesiasticus 43: edited

Some days ago I was given an old copy of THE PLOUGH. It did not speak of Magi or Kings but of a wealthy man, a learned man and a warrior. However, they did bring gold, frankincense and myrrh to the infant King. As they entered the stable to bestow their gifts on the Child an Angel challenged them to give the true essence of their souls. After some blustering, it was clear that each one carried a terrible burden: one bore the hammer of greed, another the vinegar of bitterness of heart, and the third a sharp spear. These were the symbols of their inner truth. The gold, frankincense and myrrh had been obtained at a terrible price - through the oppression of others, the bitterness of an unforgiving heart, and the desire to conquer and kill enemies instead of making peace. The three men were able to leave these ‘gifts of burden’ behind and departed to their own lands renewed and full of joy. Of course the burdens they had borne - the hammer, the vinegar and the spear - were used at the Crucifixion some thirty-three years later.

12th January 2009

We traditionally celebrate the last day of the Christmas season today with the Baptism of Christ. The nativity accounts, clothed in wonderful symbolic imagery, did indicate what would happen to the adult Christ, and to his followers. His public life begins with his baptism by John in the Jordan - that river which the People of God have to cross to reach the Holy Land from whichever ‘Egypt’ they / we are leaving behind.

Three days earlier, just before Vespers, we received our first postulant after a gap of twelve years. At the end of the reception we prayed the following, attributed to Saint Benedict:

Gracious and holy Father,

Give us wisdom to perceive you,

Diligence to seek you,

Patience to wait for you,

Eyes to behold you,

A heart to meditate upon you....

This prayer was then laid on the altar, and Vespers began - with the inevitable fits of coughing!

17th January

Another week of odds and ends, without any enthralling insights. A Spring fever of the tidying and the ‘getting-rid-of things’ variety seized hold of me, causing temporary chaos. Our postulant has taken to the precise work of cataloguing library books on a computer like a duck to water.

Requests for prayerful support arrive daily. I misheard someone and thought that she said that our monastic life resembled a spider’s web, with lots of empty spaces for God. In fact she was referring to a book we had been reading.

We received the Winter 2008 booklet from St Anselm’s Abbey, Washington, a few days ago. It contained this quotation:

"On my desk there is a stone with the word ‘Amen’ on it, a triangular fragment of stone from a Jewish graveyard destroyed many generations ago. The other fragments, hundreds upon hundreds, were scattered helter-skelter, and a great yearning, a longing without end, fills them all: first name in search of family name, date of death seeks dead man’s birth place, son’s name wishes to locate name of father, date of birth seeks reunion with soul that wishes to rest in peace. And until they have found one another, they will not find perfect rest. Only this stone lies calmly on my desk and says "Amen" ..... while the fragments are gathered up in loving kindness by a sad good man .... who makes each gravestone whole again .....

From "The Amen Stone" by the Israeli poet Yehuda Amichai

24th January

We watched the Inauguration of President Barack Obama on TV on Tuesday 20th January and were most impressed. He is an excellent orator, and we can only pray that his policies will unite his people and provide inspiring leadership.

I was saddened on Thursday by the death of a goldcrest. I had never seen one before, although I have heard them in the garden. I held the male in my hand for a while. He had been seized by a playful cat.

In an extract from "A Year of Contemplative Meditation" I read the following:

"As Advent nears its end and the Feast of Christ’s Nativity draws close, we are in the small hours of the night, the last moments of darkness before the great Light rises with "healing in its wings." In our stillness we are aware of salvation history balanced on this one moment in the darkness, poised and waiting for the birth cry of this new Child. We feel ourselves to be like Mary, and our souls to be like that stable in Bethlehem. Everything is still and ready. There is nothing more we can do to prepare, let alone initiate. We wait for the sheer gift of this New Life. At times such as these - times of silence, of deep trust, and waiting - we can glimpse the remarkable beauty of a life given primarily to intimacy with God in prayer........ There are vocations of great busyness and decisions ... and awesome self-giving is required to live these faithfully. But if we have followed God deeply into the contemplative way .... it is likely that no one will ever notice! .... It will not appear in the newspapers. People called to loving intimacy with God are not usually extraordinary in their outward demeanour. To the movers and shakers of the of the world, they may appear "ho-hum," with nothing to excite interest or charm. Such people are not only hidden from the flash and glamour of the world, but are often quite homely - in the Middle English sense of the word: "simple, domestic, friendly, straightforward, accessible." ..... we come to understand that our call to divine union is neither deepened nor consummated in earthshaking events or revelations......Rather, it is in the homely events of the everyday that our love for God - that deep flow of unceasing desire and praise and celebration - is purified, perfected, and consummated....."                                                                                                                                                                                   Rev. Gregory Fruehwirth

May this indeed be so.