MAY 3rd

It is sometimes good to be faced with a blank space, and the time to watch memories arise from an apparently blank mind! From childhood onwards I have always located myself in the actual physical place where I am, as though the circle of my environment provides the safe space in which to be. That may be why I have always liked snails: they carry their homes on their backs and can retreat into them when they feel threatened. I never describe my room but what is in the wider space outside in the garden. And I tend to be an earth gazer and not a star gazer - perhaps because I am short sighted, and want to see clearly.

April ended with heavy rain, and even hail. The grass was white for several hours. The heavy rain saturated the wind-dried soil, and the small fig tree put out lovely fresh leaves. The other tree has some fruit as small as the head of a knitting needle, and others like small green eggs. The few spared from last year - which may ripen in the sunshine - are quite different in form and colour. Tiny gooseberries wear their frills on the branches, and the fruit blossom has fallen in small showers of pink and red and white around their respective tree trunks. The soles of our shoes bring the petals in, and when the wind blows, the remaining petals fall gently on our heads.

Today - Saturday - preparations continue for an unusual liturgical celebration at 4.00 p.m.. For some years a fresh-faced young minister from a local United Reformed Church has been coming for quiet days. One Sister took a personal interest in him, and so he comes occasionally to see her. He had already been to Belmont Abbey, and Catholicism obviously attracted him. Richard had been receiving instruction from a local Capuchin, and then from the parish priest of Saint Werburgh’s. The next step was the bishop, who suggested that the reception should take place in our Chapel as this would prevent too much publicity. Naturally I assented, and we are all very pleased.

The actual occasion was almost too deeply moving and happy to write about. It was PERFECT. Everybody did his or her part without any hitches, and we were all smiling. The Chapel was exactly as it is normally as no prie-dieu was required or special bishop’s chair. The homily was wonderful, using the readings for the day and the bringing back to life of Tabitha / Dorcas. Bishop Brian held the lectern book - which is heavy, in his right hand - and then sought the lines he wanted. he made special comment on the fact that Dorcas "opened her eyes", which means more than physical seeing but the seeing of a revelation, or contemplative seeing. Later he spoke about the Christian basis Richard had received from the United Reformed Church, and how his reception into the Catholic Church was building on that foundation, not replacing it. Later still we prayed for the United Reformed Church and its members.

On the following Friday one of our Oblates and I had a wonderful afternoon exploring part of our locality on Friday afternoon. This followed a serene stroll in our garden late morning. The garden is positively glowing with more shades of green than even a good paint-box can hold, or an artist could mix. Lilac scent is enchanting amid the blues of forget-me-nots, the purple of the perennial wallflowers, punctuated by brilliant variations of yellow to orange coloured Welsh poppies. The first red rose is in full bud, and the mouse plants have many tailed brown flowers hiding under their leaves. The white heads of dandelions gleam amid the tall grass of the wild meadow.... The heavy rain had been beneficial.

As we left for our afternoon walk in ‘The Paddock’ the sun was slowly appearing. Our first delight was a small clematis hanging over the Emmaus fence ..... then the cluster of tiny cones on the hedge, and the wonderful shining candles on the huge evergreen in ‘The Paddock’. The fence door of an old garden door opened just as we reached the corner, and the opportunity came to see the three old houses on the edge of ‘The Serpentine’. What delightful people we met - a couple who showed us their wisteria and fishpond, and splendid carp among the goldfish - the old lady in slippers and the clean washing on the line, and her husband the gate-keeper. It was just like meeting friendly village people..... just the sort of thing I had wanted to see - and just the sort of place I would have loved to live in. This secret enclave is a short distance away ‘as the crow flies’ but much further if one has to walk along the public roads.

23rd May

I have just seen birds flying upside down in the water, and clouds becoming the face of a human being, a polar bear, a cat in rapid succession before becoming layers of curly white hair and then dissolving into undefined vapour again. It was wonderful to see these reflections and forms as I have often heard of children gazing into log-fires on the hearth and ‘seeing’ shapes, and gazing at clouds and ‘seeing’ pictures .... an ability I never had. Today I saw birds flying on their backs!

Other images of the last weeks have been the slow passage of a snail across a path, its shell bright with purple petals from wet flowers. Another snail ‘vibrated’ when I gave it a lift across the path ... perhaps prior to making defensive foam?

The events of today have unfolded unexpectedly, with blessings and joys we had never anticipated. Our Oblate Group - lay people and clergy associated with the community and Benedictine monasticism - was here for a two-day spiritual ‘retreat’. For the first time one of our Anglo-Catholic friends was present for a few hours. He is an Oblate from an Anglican community, and a clergyman. At first it seemed that his presence would upset the group but divine Providence had another thing in mind! For the first time ever in our Chapel a Catholic priest and an Anglican priest concelebrated at the same table of the Lord - with their separate paten and chalice - but saying almost identical words of consecration. The singing was wonderful.

Ascension

Sunday was a warm, sunny day, the garden alive with colour and scent, and the occasional butterfly and various bumblebees active among such a variety of flowers. The first large poppies were out, and one dark red peony. Mass followed an earlier Morning Office for the Ascension, the singing augmented by the seven remaining members of the Oblate Group.

As a community we had tried to prepare for the Ascension by looking at its ‘roots’ - which go back to Adam and Eve and their disobedience to the Lord. We tried to reflect on the three days Our Lord spent in Hell - dead among the dead - and the healing of the ‘underworld’. This goes back to the Jewish concept of Sheol.

28th May

Dr.Sebastian Brock came from Oxford and gave us a very good talk on "The Prayer of the Heart". He mentioned that ‘heart’ is a Jewish concept - our inner being - to which the Greek thinkers added ‘nous’ - reason and intelligence. So, the ‘heart’ is our inner being - for good or ill. The heart has to be constantly purified, often through tears, or ‘polished’ like the old bronze mirrors so that they can catch the reflection of the Lord - through love and compassion in action. In this imagery the heart is given eyes and ears and is seen as a house with a door - the door being our lips. Body is also described as a ‘temple’ with the heart the altar. The heart also has a womb in which Christ can take form. The heart is the soil in which seeds of goodness can grow in response to the Word of God.